Whoa! Hello there brand-new Beyoncé video! Directed by Melina Matsoukas (Rihanna’s “Rude Boy“) and Beyoncé herself, here’s the clip for “Why Don’t You Love Me,” taken from the album that just keeps on giving, “I Am … Sasha Fierce (Deluxe Edition).”

Verdict? Kind of a tour de force! It’s Beyoncé on the edge of a nervous breakdown. We see grainy film stock giving off the ’70s-exploitation vibe. Beyoncé’s in full pinup mode (somewhat of a holdover from “Telephone“), smoking and drinking dirty martinis — when did this happen! She’s gardening in heels, playing dress-up as a naughty, nasty police officer and Bettie Page (again, from “Telephone”). It’s all here in support of a dirty, disco-funk track cowritten with her sister, Solange Knowles.

+ Watch Beyoncé’s “Why Don’t You Love Me” video below. Note: A teensy-bit NSFW.

“Why Don’t You Love Me” – Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

(Credit: Splash News)

+ Justin Bieber brought down the house at the Juno Awards this past weekend, performing “Baby” with fellow Canadian Drake. (Pop Eater)

+ The Coachella Music & Arts Festival took place this past weekend. Of the many musical highlights the performance by Mr. and Mrs. Carter (aka Jay-Z and Beyonce) is the one that got tongues wagging. B helped Jay out on his song, “Forever Young.” (MTV News)

+ Astronauts, American flags, laser choreography and theories about extra-terrestrial life; read all about Ke$ha’s “Saturday Night Live” appearance. (Idolator)

+ Taylor Swift went for the glamorous look at the ACM Awards in Las Vegas this weekend. She wore a Marchesa chiffon gown. (Just Jared)

+ Fans looking to catch the final “Eclipse” trailer need look no further than the April 23rd broadcast of the “Oprah Winfrey Show.” The trailer will debut during a special episode dedicated to the “Twilight” saga. (Lime Life)

This “Telephone” parody video comes courtesy of the folks at Barely Political (who also have a Ke$ha parody to their name), and it lampoons not only “Telephone”’s pretensions (and, let’s admit, there are several), but the hype surrounding its arrival (which, we’ll admit, we’re partly responsible for).

The clip features a somewhat bewildered Beyonce-a-like asking what the deal is with the “Telephone” video. A Gaga clone then proceeds with a sung mea culpa: “First of all this song is not as good as ‘Bad Romance,’ and it’s not even close to ‘Poker Face‘ or ‘Just Dance.’” She goes on to list all the over-the-top imagery she plans to throw in everyone’s direction.

Fake Beyonce’s response to all this is actually really funny, “This video seems goofy/You should just do it alone/Besides, I’m getting sick of all these songs about phones.”

The whole enterprise is pretty spot-on, both as a parody and cultural commentary. Check out the fake “Telephone” video below.

We’ve seen Lady Gaga made of recycled junk, a tasty batch of Lady Gaga cookies and Lady Gaga as Barbie. It was only a matter of time before the world would know Lady Gaga made of candy. The above image is by artist Enrique Ramos, who turned Gummy Bears, licorice, M&Ms and other delicious uses for sugar into a piece of Lady Gaga art made out of candy. Mmm … licorice corset. Should you ever find yourself at a Ripley’s Believe It or Not! … museum or … whatever … that’s where you can see them.

Check out his Beyoncé made of candy and the legendary Michael Jackson made of candy. Now please allow me to excuse myself as I lick the screen.

Lady Gaga and Beyoncé’s anxiously awaited video for their The Fame Monster collaboration “Telephone” has arrived as a nine-minute-and-thirty-second mash-up of lesbian prison porn, campy sexploitation flicks and insidery winks at the two divas’ public personas. If Quentin Tarantino and Russ Meyer remade Thelma & Louise as an orgy of product placement with fiercely choreographed interludes, this would be the result. The video was scheduled to premiere on E! at 11:30 p.m. tonight, but hit the Internet early via a leak. Jonas Åkerlund, who previously helmed Gaga’s “Paparazzi” video, directed the clip.

Check out Lady Gaga’s wildest looks.

The mini-movie opens in a women’s prison, where guards strip Gaga bare and mutter, “I told you she didn’t have a dick,” fanning the flames of one of the most persistent rumors about Stefani Germanotta’s gender identity. Almost immediately the self-referential nudges and brand names appear: the boom box in the exercise yard blasts Lady Gaga’s “Paper Gangsta,” a fellow inmate wears Monster Heartbeats earbuds, Gaga has a Virgin Mobile phone tucked in her pants and sports Chanel shades and Diet Coke cans in her hair as makeshift curlers (nice touch!).

The song kicks in just before the three-minute mark as Gaga (in a spiked bikini and what appears to be Karen O’s jacket from the “Zero” video) takes a call in jail and launches into the most appealing afternoon imaginable behind bars — a tightly choreographed routine that has Gaga and four tattooed backup dancers stamping through the cell block.

When Beyoncé’s scheduled interlude arrives, the song breaks for another dramatic sequence. A guard perusing dating Website Plenty of Fish on a Beats by Dre laptop informs Gaga she’s been bailed out. Beyoncé (nicknamed Honey Bee, a nod to Honey Bunny from Pulp Fiction) rolls up in the Pussy Wagon from Tarantino’s Kill Bill: Volume One, informs Gaga, “You’ve been a very bad girl” and feeds her a sticky treat. Simply being in Tarantino’s car inspires some Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield banter (”You know Gaga, trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it’s broke…” “But you can still see the crack in that motherfucker’s reflection”).

Beyoncé launches into the song’s bridge as Lady Gaga snaps photos of her with a Polaroid camera, then the pair pull up to a vintage diner where Beyoncé entertains a gentleman pal (played by Tyrese Gibson) and Gaga mans the kitchen, slipping poison into the food along with Miracle Whip and Wonder Bread (cue another awesome dance sequence, this time with cooks prancing around the stove in a moment that could have been borrowed from Madonna’s “Hung Up” clip). Beyoncé takes a moment to toy with her squeaky-clean image — busting out the line, “I knew you’d take all my honey, you selfish motherfucker” as Gibson keels over at the table — and another dance sequence begins, this time with Gaga and B in patriotic garb.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s Jai Rodriguez arrives as a news reporter broadcasting word of the mass homicide (dubbed “The Telephone Effect”) as Gaga and Beyoncé speed away in the Pussy Wagon dressed in white and black veils. “We did it, Honey Bee, now let’s go far, far away from here,” Gaga says as the two clasp hands and hit the accelerator.

The clip is certainly cinematic and oddly feminist, and gasps at a larger statement about consumer culture. As Gaga told E!, she was preoccupied with “the idea that America is full of young people that are inundated with information and technology and turn it into something that was more of a commentary on the kind of country that we are.”

Related Stories:

• Lady Gaga’s Sexy, Cinematic “Paparazzi” Video Hits the Web
• Lady Gaga Premieres “Bad Romance,” Her Craziest Video Yet
• Photos: Lady Gaga’s New Monster Ball Tour

While “Telephone” isn’t my favorite of her extended-play/ long-version cinematic videos (my favorite being “Paparazzi”), and it doesn’t trump the stunning effects and shock and awe of “Bad Romance,” it’s certainly the funniest and most satirical work Gaga’s done. A play on mid-century TV commercials? Gaga and Beyonce as a Bonnie and Clyde killer duo? All. That. Tarantino? Knowing winks at the camera? CHOMPING ON A HONEYBUN? What’s not to love? For as intense as Gaga can be, she’s clearly got a lighter side, and that biting wit is laced throughout the tongue-in-cheek video, directed by Jonas Åkerlund.

Okay. Enough me. More you… you watching “Telephone.” Did it live up to your expectations?

Photo courtesy of LadyGaga.com / Interscope Records

What do you think Lady Gaga is thinking in the above still from the “Telephone” video? I’ll get you started with a couple ideas:

1. “I really need to update my Bluetooth headset.”
2. “Finally—a chance for me to show off my plate-carrying skills. All the years spent waiting tables and refilling endless breadsticks at the Olive Garden truly prepared me for this moment.”
3. “Will someone come over here and straighten my chef’s hat? Geez… I’m surrounded by amateurs.”
4. “I wonder what Elton John is doing right now.”
5. “Did I remember to turn my ringer off?”

Now it’s your turn. Leave your funniest/best/weirdest comment below and see if you can’t achieve a little caption “Fame.”

Female artists dominated the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards, with Beyoncé and Taylor Swift leading the charge at last night’s ceremony at Los Angeles’ Staples Center. The I Am … Sasha Fierce singer tallied the most awards, scooping up six trophies — the most ever for a female artist on a single Grammy night — most notably Song of the Year and Best R&B Song for “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for “Halo.” Swift took home the show’s biggest honor, however, nabbing Album of the Year for 2009’s best-selling LP, Fearless. At 20, Swift is now the youngest musician to win Album of the Year; she won four awards overall, including Best Country Album (also Fearless), Best Country Song and Best Female Country Vocal Performance (both “White Horse”).

Look back at the 2010 Grammys’ biggest moments in photos.

Lady Gaga, who opened the show with a powerhouse duet with Elton John, won a pair of awards — Best Dance Album for The Fame and Best Electronica/Dance Song for “Poker Face” — but both were announced during a pre-telecast ceremony. Kings of Leon grabbed three awards, all revolving around their hit “Use Somebody,” Jay-Z scored three trophies for singles (his Blueprint 3 wasn’t eligible this year) and the Black Eyed Peas also won three Grammys, including Best Pop Vocal Album for The E.N.D.

Green Day followed up a memorable performance of “21 Guns” with the American Idiot musical cast by winning Best Rock Album for 21st Century Breakdown. In awards handed out before the broadcast, Bruce Springsteen’s “Working on a Dream” was named Best Solo Rock Performance, Jeff Beck took Best Rock Instrumental Performance for “A Day in the Life,” the Beatles scored Best Long Form Video and French electronic pop group Phoenix pulled out a surprise victory in the Best Alternative Album category with Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. Check out the winners list here.

Get a look at the best and worst of 2010 Grammy fashion.

The Grammys are known for its high-wattage performances as much as their hardware, and last night’s show was packed with big-name team-ups. Lady Gaga got the party started with “Poker Face” before taking a seat at her piano (adorned with mannequin limbs frozen into Gaga’s monster claw) and facing off against Elton John on her “Speechless” and his “Your Song.” Beyoncé and a SWAT team of dancers mashed up the I Am… Sasha Fierce hit “If I Were a Boy” with Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” Pink spun from the ceiling, soaking wet, during an acrobatic performance of “Glitter in the Air.” And Lil Wayne, Eminem, Drake and Travis Barker kept the censors on their toes with a profanity-laced medley of Rebirth’s “Drop the World” and the hit “Forever.”

The ceremony also included a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson featuring Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson, Usher and Carrie Underwood singing along with the King of Pop’s “Earth Song.” Jackson’s two eldest children, Prince and Paris, accepted their father’s posthumous Lifetime Achievement Award in one of the night’s most touching moments. Jeff Beck led a special Les Paul tribute while Jamie Foxx’s “Blame It” merged T-Pain, opera, Doug E Fresh and Slash performing the “November Rain” solo into one strange performance. Stevie Nicks joined Taylor Swift to duet on “Rihannon” and “You Belong With Me” in one of the few performances that felt out-of-sync. And even though the Dave Matthews Band were shut out of any Grammy wins, the group broke out a full choir, horns and string section for a strong rendition of “You & Me.”

For a full rundown of the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards, be sure to check out our live blog and all of Rolling Stone’s essential Grammy coverage.

Related Stories:

• The 2010 Grammy Winners
• Neil Young Honored at MusiCares Gala
• The Blog Monster: Rolling Stone Live Blogs the 2010 Grammys

+ Yesterday we mentioned that Quincy Jones was corralling the likes of Bieber, Cyrus and Will Smith for a “We Are The World” re-make to aid Haitian relief efforts. Not to be outdone, Simon Cowell is putting together his own all-star Haiti benefit single, “Everybody Hurts,” (yes, R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts“…see bottom of post to refresh your memory) reportedly featuring Susan Boyle, Mariah Carey and Jon Bon Jovi. (Spinner)

+ Whatever Jay-Z does, Beyonce can do as well. A couple of years after Hova made a milestone appearance on 60 Minutes (remember him showing Steve Kroft how to “flow”?), Bey will go under the venerated television news magazine’s spotlight this Sunday. It airs right before the Grammy Awards. Check out a snippet. (Concrete Loop)

+ Speaking of the Grammy Awards, don’t go into your Grammy pool unprepared: let Pink and ?uestlove of The Roots handicap the nominees for you. (Rolling Stone)

+ Tired of waiting to hear Erykah Badu’s much-anticipated new album, New Amerykah Pt. II? Well, today might be your lucky day. Badu has hinted on Twitter that she might leak/stream/preview some music on her site this afternoon. (Sound of the City)

+ Keri Hilson went on the Rachael Ray Show yesterday and played an acoustic version of “Knock You Down.” More importantly, she showed the world her wild juggling skills! (Rap-Up)

+ With Fall Out Boy on an indefinite break, what better time for Patrick Stump to redesign his website, put up an esoteric Anais Nin quote and, oh yeah, prep a solo album, on which he will write, produce and perform all the music! (MTV News)

+ Number 3: Beyonce, “Sweet Dreams”
Beyonce’s “Sweet Dreams” video, directed by Adria Petty, isn’t just another high-fashion look at Beyonce, though there are direction allusions to designer Gareth Pugh’s Autumn/Winter 2009 video presentation. But beyond Beyonce’s designer wardrobe, “Sweet Dreams” picks up where the “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” video left off. It’s the dark yin to the brighter, lighter fare of “Single Ladies.” This is a 360-degree look at Beyonce’s life: Beyonce the woman, Sasha Fierce the performer, and the powerful force that occupies the spaces in between. Beyonce goes to sleep as Beyonce, turns into Sasha Fierce, and emerges as da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, only a woman. Woven throughout the “Sweet Dreams” video are darker shades of the occult and stranglehold of mind control. Like I said — definitely not just a fashion video.

At the top of the list would have to be Lady Gaga and Rihanna, both of whom catapulted themselves into the upper atmosphere of pop culture stardom, bordering on iconic status.

With their daring combos of hot and haute couture and brave filmmaking, they released a series of videos that combined catwalk-ready fashion with cinematic craftsmanship. Ri-Ri’s “Hard” and Gaga’s “Paparazzi” and “Bad Romance” simply dazzled.

Take a look at those year-defining vids, as well as other fashionable clips from the likes of Jay-Z (“Run This Town”), Yeah Yeah Yeahs (“Heads Will Roll”), Beyonce (“Videophone“), Shakira (“She Wolf“) and more in our Best of 2009: Fashion Forward video playlist below.